This year I have been a very good boy. I’ve really tried to be nice to the clueless client service tossers, I’ve stopped greeting Arsenal fans with, “How’s your next season?” and even killed cockroaches swiftly and humanely. There’s even room for one more good deed, guiding you around Kenya.


Santa, I assume your sleigh will be loaded with presents. It’s therefore advisable to avoid Kenya’s airports and sea ports. The tax charge you’ll be hit with is so high, you’ll have to sell your gifts to pay for them. You’ll also have to prove that your sleigh is no older than 7 years old, (preferably Right Hand Drive), after which you’ll pay import duty. Then your reindeer will need to even more paperwork.

However, since I so desperately want a present for you I can show you an easier way to get enter our country. I would’ve proposed…

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